User blog:Charlie the Penguin/newspaper.doc
Child labor is a horrible thing, well, unless you're forcing pookies to do it. Then it's totally fine. Scorn lands with a loud thud in the Town Center and begins attacking random citizens. Charlie and Wingman watch from the Ski Hil. Charlie: Holy Rocket Snail! Scorn the Dragon King has somehow escaped his stone imprisonment and has returned to seek revenge once more on the island! We must find the Thunder Blade and defeat him once and for all. Wingman: *sits on Charlie's shoulder, looking at a picture of him self with photoshopped arms on his smartphone* Wow, I look like a baws. Hey, Charlie, how do you think I'd look with limbs? Charlie: ... Sasquatch sits in the Forest munching on Herbert's corpse. Charlie: *takes out baseball bat and whacks Sasquatch several times* Sasquatch: OWWW!! Stop hitting me! Charlie: Sascrotch, did you take the Thunder Blade sword? I think it's missing! Sasquatch: First of allz, for ten millionth time, itz SasQUATCH not Sascrotch. Second of allz, no, I didn't. Just stay outta mah cave, okay? *backs into cave, dragging Herbert along with him* Later, in the Coffee Shop... Charlie: Do YOU wanna help me look, Gary? Gary: No way dude, my coffee hasn't cooled down yet. Get outta mah face or I'll call the cops again. Charlie: I know, I'll ask Aunt Arctic! She's always so helpful!! :D *walks upstairs and throws self against the Penguin Times office door several times* AUNT ARCTIC, GET UR FAT BUTT OUT HERE AND HELP ME FIND THE THUNDER BLADE!!! Aunt Arctic: I'm terribly sorry Charlie, but I am quite busy right now. Charlie: *knocks down door* Doing what? *looks around to see miserable-looking pookies everywhere, being forced to work on the Penguin Times* Woah, this is how you mass-produce your newspaper? Aunt Arctic: Think of it as a babysitting service. I watch them all day, they make my newspapers, it all evens out. HEY YOU OVER THERE! WORK FASTER! *cracks whip* I WILL USE THIS IF I HAVE TO!!! See, it's all a silly little pretend game! :) You know, except for the fact that they're never allowed to leave. *demon voice* EVER. Charlie: I'm pretty sure that this is illegal in some way... Aunt Arctic: Oh please, everyone knows that pookies don't have souls, an- WORK HARDER! *cracks whip* YOU ARE ON THIN ICE MISTER, THIN ICE!!! Pookie: But Im A Girl D: Wingman: I always had a feeling that the Penguin Times was written by two-year-olds... Sasquatch: *walks in* You send for me. Aunt Arctic: Quite right dear, I got you a free newspaper. *hands* Sasquatch: Cool. Stay outta mah cave, okayz? *walks away* Pookie360 is evolving! Aunt Arctic: What the...? Pookie360 has evolved into Pookie With Special Powers! Pookie: IT'S TIME FOR A REVOLUTION! ATTACK!!!! All of the pookies suddenly gain magic powers and beat Aunt Arctic to death. Meanwhile, Scorn has completely destroyed the Town Center and has moved onto the Ski Village. Scorn: SURRENDER TO ME YOUR MEMBERSHIPS AND I SHALL MAKE YOUR DEATHS 1% LESS SLOW AND PAINFULL!!!! Category:Blog posts